Dear worry (et al)--   
I'm just taking advantage of your message to make a general observation here, if you don't mind <g>.  To wit:   
I saw _all_ of the footage shot concerning this scene.  It went on all day, and _I_ was exhausted from seeing the not-kissing for hours--it was perfectly clear, seeing it over and over and over again--that Laoghaire was trying desperately to kiss him, he was trying desperately _not_ to kiss her--and if she'd been six inches taller, she'd have landed one. <g>   
But.  The lead-up to the not-kissing (and they're not.  Never.  Not once) included a longer form of the dialogue.   After telling Jamie how she'd always noticed him, from his first appearance at Leoch, she says something about Dougal's arrangement and he interrupts, saying (and I quote):  "It's true it was nothing I'd planned...but I'm happy with it."  She pauses for a moment, looking up at him in what appears to be deep concern, then takes his hand--and she does _take_ it, he's obviously reluctant to give it to her but doesn't want to jerk it away, either--and says (in a very sympathetic, wistful tone), "Ye dinna look very _happy_.  Ye look like you're carrying the world on your back."  She's right; he does.   
Mind, she's still wearing her cloak through this.  He pulls back at that point, but she's still holding his hand.  He shakes his head helplessly and says, "Laoghaire...I can't...I havena got anything for you."     She looks up at him, serious, but with a light in her eyes and--putting her hands to the clasp of her cloak, says, "I have something for _you_.  She was marrit before--" drops cloak, Revealing All, "--but I've lain with no one."  Raises his now-unresisting hand to her breast and goes on, "I want you to be the first--the only one--" Standing on tiptoes, trying to reach his mouth, "--to have me."    
Cue brief struggle of not-kissing, then he breaks definitely away and says, "No. No, I made a vow and I'll not break it.  Not even for someone as bonny as you."  (Obviously trying to be soothing, but clearly having No Idea)  He stoops to pick up her cloak, saying, "I'm sorry...." but she gasps in shock and grief, chokes, grabs it herself and whirls around to flee, with him shouting, "I'm sorry!" after her.      
Evidently, they decided in the editing that they could cut most of the lead-up and keep only the offer/rejection. (Seconds and half-seconds _count_ in film editing; I'd say more than half the stuff shot is never used, and that's not counting just the unused takes of a given scene.)  But this shorter, edited does give a different impression than the scene as written, acted and filmed.     
I much preferred the fuller version myself--but I must say, I'm surprised at how hoppity everybody seems to be over something so insignificant as his not jerking his hand off the girl as if she was a hot stove.  Jamie didn't think it was a big deal, and neither do I. 
--Diana