По мотивам широко известных в узких кругах фанатов Робстен Дневников Ate_Ofie
и
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Дневники и Фотоприколы Робстен вдохновитель Cat26 автор Наталка при копировании материала указание перевода и активной ссылки на сайт обязательно!!
ПЕРЕВОДЫ: mad rabbit, Anyutik, черносливка
Сообщение отредактировал Cat26 - Пятница, 24.09.2010, 12:16
Дата: Суббота, 06.11.2010, 23:28 | Сообщение # 242
с верой в РобСтен
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Наташ, может и вправду грустно, но очень трогательно, спасибо тебе за это творение. Роб никогда не даст свою девочку в обиду, и настоящих поклонников у нее много и ты это прекрасно показала в своем рассказе!:)
Дата: Воскресенье, 07.11.2010, 02:22 | Сообщение # 243
???
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Наталка, Как всегда -КЛАСС чуть грустно, но я рада , что у Роба есть Крис, а у Крис есть Роб за ним она , как за каменной стеной он никому не позволит обидеть её Наталка, Спасибо
Дата: Четверг, 11.11.2010, 01:12 | Сообщение # 245
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Снимая Рассвет
Идут съемки, результаты которых, с замиранием сердца, ждут все РобСтеноманы и не только.
Задумывались ли вы когда-нибудь, о чем разговаривают Кристен и Роберт, когда им не надо говорить текст во время съемочного процесса? «О чем это она?» - спросите вы. Да вот о чем: во время съемок, стоя в воде и целуя друг друга, я уверена, они не молчали. Итак, о чем же воркуют наши голубки?
Начало съемок. Роберт и Кристен наплавались и встретились в воде для поцелуя:
- Боже, какой кайф! Мне кажется, я бы целый день в воде просидела, - довольная Кристен подплыла к Робу и положила руки ему на плечи. - Ничего, моя рыбка, у тебя сегодня будет куча времени для этого! Я очень хочу услышать, что ты скажешь в конце съемки, - Роберт обнял ее за талию и поцеловал сначала в шею, затем в щеку и наконец, в губы.
- Стоп! Снято! Еще один дубль, с другого ракурса! – раздалось с берега.
- Флиппи, я бы хотела, чтобы мы тут были одни! Тут все так «для любви», что голова кружится, - Кристен снова подплыла к Роберту для поцелуя.
- Я об этом думаю со дня прилета в Рио! Как я хочу, чтобы вокруг никого не было! Этот вариант отпуска надо рассмотреть, ведь существуют же комфортабельные необитаемые острова! – сказал Роберт, снова целуя Кристен в щеку, а потом в губы.
- Стоп! Снято! Еще один дубль! Кристен оставайся на месте, теперь только поцелуй! – снова кричали с берега.
- Да уж, я представляю себе этот отпуск: мы тайно пробираемся на остров, наслаждаемся отдыхом, а на пальмах висят папараццы, - прошептала Кристен в губы Роба.
- Ха! Тут подул ветер, и они все посыпались с пальм, - захихикал Роберт, дубль был испорчен.
- Ребята, сосредоточьтесь! – раздалось с берега, - Снимаем еще раз!
- Это будет папсопад! Какое желание загадаем? – Кристен провела своей улыбкой по улыбке Роберта.
- Чтобы вместе навсегда, как Эдвард и Белла? – Роберт закрыл глаза и погрузился в поцелуй.
- Роб! Роберт! Очнись, новый дубль, - шептала Кристен, пытаясь привести в себя своего Ромео.
- Извини, увлекся! Милая, не ерзай, пожалуйста, нам скоро выходить на берег, и я пытаюсь успокоиться! – он легонько подкинул Кристен вверх, усаживая ее к себе на талию.
- Да? А как ты это делаешь? – в глазах Кристен играли бесенята, а руки перебирали его волосы.
- Я вспоминаю, как мне выщипывали брови!
Теперь не выдержала Кристен и засмеялась.
- Стоп! Снято! Перерыв! Выходите на берег!
Роберт вышел на берег, неся Кристен на руках.
Вечер того же дня. Съемки на пляже, возле дома Эсми. Несколько дублей спустя.
- Ты знаешь, я тут подумала, что хочу научиться водить вертолет, - от неожиданности Роберт оступился, и ребята чуть не ушли под воду. - Вертолет? Кристен, ты уверена? - Роберт вглядывался в ее лицо, надеясь, что это шутка.
- Да, и еще я хочу водить катер! - Кристен закусила губу, потешаясь над Робертом, которому вождение машины до сих пор казалось экстримом.
- Ребята! Не забываем целоваться! Я понимаю, что вы уже устали, но осталось совсем немного! – опять кричали с берега.
- Мы потом это обсудим, - пробормотал озадаченный Роберт, целуя свою изобретательную подругу.
- Ой! Меня кто-то щиплет! – Кристен подпрыгнула на руках у Роберта.
- Это не я!
- Да знаю, что не ты! Помнишь, мою царапину на ноге? Мне кажется, ее что-то кусает!
- Может это соль? – Роб начал водить руками под водой.
- Ой, снова!
- Кристен, это рыбки! Не бойся, они совсем маленькие! – рассмеялся Роберт.
- Да, пираньи тоже маленькие, но одна минута и ноги нет!
- Детка, пираньи тут не водятся!
- Ребята, еще дубль! – кричал охрипший голос с берега.
- Ну что, милая, ты все еще хочешь плавать?
- У меня кожа на пальцах вся сморщилась, и я чувствую себя очень соленой! И ты тоже соленый! И вообще, я в жизни столько не целовалась! Мне кажется, что мои губы стали в два раза больше!
- Согласись, есть и положительный момент – тебя целую Я!
Кристен облизнула свои губы и посмотрела Роберту в глаза. Поцелуй, который за этим последовал, вошел в фильм и сразил наповал даже скептиков…
Некоторое время спустя, Кристен и Роберт уходили с пляжа, держась за руки. Роберт торопился – воспоминание о выщипывании бровей уже не помогало…
ОХРЕНЕЛА...
Сообщение отредактировал Наталка - Пятница, 12.11.2010, 00:52
Дата: Четверг, 11.11.2010, 15:54 | Сообщение # 249
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WAVES WON'T DO IT! ON LOCATION, MILES AWAY FROM “CIVILIZATION.”
BodyGuard: “Rob, Kristen… If it's not too much to ask, could you, like, refrain from screaming when you're at it, please? Apparently, the generator only lasts for 2 hours every night. The sound of the waves could only do so little to, um, drown the, um, noise you make when you… ah…you know... expressing your love and passion... and all that hot stuff that you do...um... so very often...” *Clears throat, then lookS at Rob* “Just a friendly suggestion, Rob...Maybe you can moan instead of growling.” *Turns to Kristen* “And, Kristen… Maybe you can lay off screaming Rob’s name a little bit. Once or twice is enough, really... *Shakes head* We all know that Rob's, um, stuff is “big and yummy”… and, uh, that you want it hard and fast!... And he's the best and all....But... Please... We'll be staying in one roof with thin walls... You know what I mean?”
Rob: *Speechless* “Oh, uh… Sure!”
Kristen: *Blushes* “I don’t scream!”
BodyGaurd and Rob: “YES, YOU DO!”
ROB AND THE DOLPHINS!!!
YEAR 2016 Rob, Jr.: “Daddy, can we go to Sea World in San Diego, please?”
Rob: *Stern voice* NO!
Rob, Jr.: “But, why not?”
Rob: *Looks away* “Um, because your brothers are still too young!... We have to wait until they’re a little older.”
Rob, Jr.: “Well, I’m five and my brothers are 4 and 2! We’re all big now, Daddy!!!
Rob: *Sighs* “Why do you want to go to Sea World? Why not Disneyland or Universal Studios?”
Rob, Jr.: “I want to see the dolphins, Daddy… I want to play with them… swim with them…”
Rob: *Cringes* “Dolphins are vicious, son!!!”
Rob, Jr.: “NO!!! That’s not what the TV says!!!”
Rob: “Well, they don’t know what they’re talking about!”
Rob, Jr.: “Mommyyyyyyyy!!!”
Rob: “Shhh..Shhh… okay…okay…”
Kristen: “Rob, what are you telling your son again?”
Rob: “What? I’m not doing anything. Your son wants to go to San Diego… And with your condition and all, Baby, I said, no. I’m just thinking of you, of course! You’re 8 weeks pregnant!” *Winks at Kristen*
Kristen: *Squints her eyes at Rob and turns to Rob, Jr.* “Robbie, sweetie, what’s the matter?”
Rob, Jr.: “I want to go to Sea World, Mommy, in San Diego.”
Kristen: “Well, let’s ask Daddy.” *Raises eyebrow at Rob*
Rob, Jr.: *Whines* “But Dad will say no. He says DOLPHINS ARE VICIOUS!”
Kristen: *Suppresses laughter* “He did?!? Hmm… Um… Well…” *Turns to Rob* “Let’s ask Daddy why he thinks Dolphins are vicious.”
Rob, Jr.: “Yeah, Dad. What’s wrong with dolphins?”
Rob: “They, um…” *Glares at Kristen*
Kristen: *Starting to lose it!* “Yes?”
Rob: “THEY’RE SCARY CREATURES!!!”
Kristen: *Guffaws* “Oh, God! Yeah! I remember…” *Laughs harder*
Rob: “AND THEY ARE UNPREDICTABLE!!!”
Kristen: "THAT, THEY ARE!" *Now laughing uncontrollably*
Rob, Jr.: *Eyes his parents* “Dolphins are cool!” *Starts to tear up*
Kristen: *Takes son into her arms* “Oh, baby… I’m sorry… I didn’t mean to laugh like that… It’s just that Daddy has an unfortunate experience with dolphins in Brazil…”
Rob: “KRISTEN!!! Jeez!!! Let it go…" *Scrathes head* "Fine, we’ll go this weekend!”
Rob: *Flashes dirty look at Kristen* “Quit while you’re ahead!”
Kristen: “Well, if you didn’t have to be Mr. Know-It-All… You would have known that Dolphins…”
Rob: *Tackles Kristen* “Shut up…”
Kristen: “Rob, stop it!” *giggles*
Rob: “Promise you’ll forget about those fuckin’ dolphins!”
Kristen: *Smirks* “Rob, baby… SHARKS!!! Those were SHARKS!!! Not Dolphins!!! You don’t swim and play with SHARKS!!!
Rob: “You’re laughing now but you were hysterical then…”
Kristen: *Chuckles* “WELL, YOU FUCKIN’ JUMP OFF THE BOAT!!!”
Rob: “In my defense… We were supposed to be with the dolphins and I thought we already reached our destination. The boat freakin’ stopped!!!”
Kristen: “Because you asked them to fuckin’ stop!!!”
Rob: “Technicalities!!!”
Kristen: *Snorts* “Yeah, thank god we have, like, dozens of lifesavers in the boat… Even your bodyguards got scared with your life!”
Rob: “I have to tell you, though, I didn’t know why everyone started screaming once I jumped. I wasn’t aware my life was in danger! I thought that when the crew jumped in the water that they wanted to join me…”
Kristen: “They jumped to save you, dumbass!!!” *guffawed*
Rob: “Potato-potayto, tomato-tomayto… They jumped, too!!! So…”
Kristen: “You were quiet the whole time after that, I got so worried.”
Rob: *Mumbles*
Kristen: “What?”
Rob: “I SAID… I WAS FUCKIN’ EMBARRASSED! I wasn’t scared at all because I didn’t know my life was in danger to begin with! I was pulled out from the water before I knew I was the shark’s lunch!”
Kristen: *Kisses Rob* “Aww, Baby... YOU WERE SO BRAVE! MY VERY OWN, SHARKMAN!"
Rob: *Flexes muscles*
Kristen: *Shakes head* "So, we’re really going to Sea World on Saturday?”
Rob: “I already said yes to Robbie. So yeah!”
Kristen: “Well, SHARKMAN, prepare to swim and play with the dolphins!”
ROB: “NOT IN THIS LIFETIME, WE'RE NOT!!!!”
He named all the freckles on her body and wrote a poem for each one...
Kristen: *Nods* “I mean… it wouldn’t be that difficult, I don’t think.”
Rob: *Smiles at his woman* “Oh, you’re absolutely right, babe. The cameras just need to be set up strategically, that’s all.”
Kristen: *Whispers something to Rob*
Rob: *Grins, then kisses Kristen on the lips*
Rob & Kristen: *Start giggling*
Bill Condon: *Clears throat* “Umm… YOU AREN’T KIDDING, ARE YOU?”
Rob: *Reluctantly lets go of Kristen* “Bill, Kristen and I won’t be here at one o’clock in the morning if we’re only half serious.”
Kristen: “A lot of thought went into this decision, actually.”
Bill Condon: *Folds arms* “Exactly how long ago did you, guys, come up with this idea.”
Rob: “Pfft… Since we, um, first read the script for Braking Dawn.” *Looks away but with impish smile on his face*
Kristen: *Sniggers along with Rob*
Bill Condon: *Exhales* “And you’re both sure this will work?”
Rob & Kristen: *Nod enthusiastically*
Bill Condon: *Creases forehead* “If, um, you don’t mind my asking, Rob… Kristen… How do you know this is going to work?”
Rob: *Beams with pride* “Because, Bill… Kristen and I have already tried and tested it! And it worked like a dream!” Kristen: “But, um, we can’t show you… the, um… you know…the---” *Coughs* “That’s way too private.”
Bill Condon: *Stares at Rob and Kristen* SO LET ME GET THIS STRAIGHT… YOU WANT TO DO THE SEX SCENE --- THE, UM, PILLOW-BITING/FEATHER SCENE --- BY…” *Squints Eyes* “BY YOURSELVES?”
Rob & Kristen: “YES!!!”
Bill Condon: “AND ALL WE HAVE TO DO IS STRATEGICALLY SET UP THE CAMERAS AROUND THE BEDROOM…”
Rob: “And I assure you, the outcome will be, without a doubt, AH-MAZING!!!”
Bill Condon: *Glares at Rob* “And how do you know that?”
Kristen: *Speaks Firmly* “Because we’ve tried it several times! It worked like magic.”
Rob: “Well, we have the tapes if you want proof!”
Kristen: *Speaks hesitantly* “Well, uh, if… if that’s necessary… I guess that’s okay.”
Bill Condon: *Wide Eyes* “LET ME GET THIS STRAIGHT…YOU WANT ME TO WATCH YOUR SEX TAPES?!?”
Rob & Kristen: NO!!!
Bill Condon: *Stares disbelievingly at Rob and Kristen* “So…”
Kristen: “Well… I mean… Um… We kinda “re-enacted” *Air quotes* “the pillow biting scene… we… we were…”
Rob: “AUTHENTIC!”
Kristen: *Kisses Rob* “Thanks, Babe. That’s the word I was looking for.”
Bill Condon: “SO, YOU WERE NAKED?”
Rob: “Like I said… Authentic!”
Kristen: “It’s for the sake of the movie!”
Rob: “I’m sure our fans will be thrilled to see Edward and Bella finally express their undying love for each other in an intimate, AUTHENTIC, way!”
Bill Condon: “And do you plan to do “it” without my direction?”
Rob: “Oh, no! You’re the director, Bill! Of course we’ll listen to your instructions. But it’s going to be easy, we promise!!! You review the tapes once we’re done acting out the scene… according to the script, of course…” *Smiles wider* “Um, and, you’ll know because we’ll let you in… after, that is… and, if you think we didn’t do it right, then, you tell us where to tweak it; which angle to go for and all that stuff, then Kristen and I will re-take the scene…until we get it right!”
Bill Condon: *Sighs* “Rob… Kristen… I don’t think this has ever been done before. And I mean ever!”
Rob: “There’s a first time for everything, Bill!”
Bill Condon: “I don’t think…”
Kristen: “Can we at least try? Can you give us a chance to show you?”
Bill Condon: “But why, in the world, would you like to shoot this scene by yourselves? Why? I mean, it’s not like you’re going to actually make love…”
Rob: “Um… Go back a second…”
Bill Condon: *Eyes bulging* “WHEN YOU SAY AUTHENTIC…”
Rob: “WE MEAN IT IN EVERY SENSE OF THE WORD!!!”
Bill Condon: *Gasps!* “Rob---”
Rob: “Well, I’ll be hovering Kristen anyway and we’ll be under a white thin, sheet… so we can keep it PG13, promise!”
Bill Condon: “You know you will both be wearing modesty patches!”
Rob: “WHAT?!? OH, HELL NO!!!”
Kristen: “But why?”
Bill Condon: “Because….” *Stops, then sighs again* “Okay… Let’s do this… No more than 3 crew members in the room… NO MODESTY PATCH… And I’m giving you 2 days-off… So you can do… well, whatever you want to do while you’re here… IN PARADISE!”
Rob: *Brows creasing* “Oh… Um…”
Kristen: *Smiles widely* “Deal!”
Bill Condon: *Clasps hands* “Okay then! That takes care of everything! So… Call time tomorrow is 8am… It’s 2am and I need to sleep! And I suggest you, should, catch a few hours of sleep!”
Rob: “Kristen and I don’t sleep right away… We---”
Kristen: *Pinches Rob’s side* “Babe!!!”
Rob: *Shuts his mouth up but winks at Bill*
*Kristen took Rob’s hand. Both, stand up, and wave goodbye and goodnight.*
Bill Condon: *NOW ALONE IN HIS ROOM, STARING AT THE DOOR, quite incredulous… Pinches himself , then mutters* “WELL, I’LL BE DAMNED!”
He named all the freckles on her body and wrote a poem for each one...
Дата: Четверг, 11.11.2010, 15:56 | Сообщение # 251
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ROBSTEN TRAVEL LIGHT!!!
BC: “So, are we all set? You have everything you need? Rob? Kristen?”
Rob: “Yup!”
Kristen: “Everything, Bill!”
BC: *Looks at Rob’s and Kristen’s bags* “Um, we’ll be staying in the island for a couple of days, you know.
Rob & Kristen: “Oh, we know.”
BC: “That’s all you have?” *Glances at R/K’s bodyguards bags* “Damn, your bodyguards have more stuff.”
Rob: “That’s because they have to bring their pajama and day clothes and what not…”
BC: “And you don’t have to? I’m confused!”
Rob: “Oh, I’m good.”
Kristen: “Don’t worry, Bill. EVERYTHING WE NEED IS IN OUR BACKPACK!”
BC: “Everything?”
Rob: “Yup. Including toothbrush, and other toiletries.”
BC: *Shakes head*
Rob: “You don’t believe us, do you, Bill. My baby packed her bikini and I packed my swimming trunks. We do share T-shirts, so we’re good!”
BC: “And your nightwear? Like YOUR Pajama?”
Rob: *Whips Bill a confused look* “WHAT PAJAMA?”
Kristen: “PAJAMA? John and Dean brought theirs? Do you need a pair, Bill?”
BC: *Coughs* “W-Well… I mean... YOU WILL BE SLEEPING AT NIGHT, RIGHT? RIGHT? AND I MEAN, SLEEP. QUIET. NO SOUND. Zzzz.... SLUMBER... You need to wear jammies to sleep comfortably."
Rob: *Realizes what BC was talking about* “OH!!! Yeah…” *Shakes head* “Kristen and I don’t need THAT!”
BC: *Stern, no-none-sense voice* “Rob, we’re all going to be staying in one house!”
Rob: *Looks straight into BC’s eyes* “And we’re all going to be okay. WE WON’T BOTHER YOU. My baby and I are very quiet. It's like we're not there at all... You'll see!”
BC: *Mutters to self* “That's not what I heard." *Looks Skeptical* ".... So what exactly did you, two, bring?”
Kristen: “As my baby said... we brought toiletries, um…shirts…towels… books to read during downtime... Um, cookies, gum... Ooh, I brought Hot Cheetos, too, if you want some. Just let me know..." *Thinks* "...And we even brought a deck of cards, we have UNO… Oh, oh… we can have a game night, Bill!!!”
Rob: *Smiles at Kristen* “You’re awesome, baby!”
BC: “Ahh… what else are in your backpacks?”
Rob: *Grins* “My girlfriends sexy bikini and bikini top… Five fucking sets!!! There’s that red piece with gold clasps…”
BC: “Okay…okay… How about clothes? I don't know... like when you’re in the house lounging or cooking... or by the pool relaxing or something… a sun dress or a pair of khaki shorts or a pair of denims…”
Robs eyes grew wide!!!
Rob: “OH FUCK!!! I BLOODY FORGOT!!!”
BC: *Sighs* “I knew it! This is too good to be true. You can’t travel that light!”
Kristen: *Pats Rob’s back*
BC: *Takes deep breaths* “We can’t go back to the hotel, Rob. We’re behind schedule as it is. I brought plenty of new clothes. You can have a shirt or two. I don’t mind.”
Rob: “Thanks, but I don’t need clothes.”
BC: *Wonders* “NO?... SO, WHAT EXACTLY DID YOU FORGET, ROB?”
Rob: *Sad, puppy eyes* “MY GUITAR!!!”
Kristen: *Gasps* “Oh, my poor baby!!!” *Hugs Rob tightly*
BC: *Rolls eyes* “Really?!?”
He named all the freckles on her body and wrote a poem for each one...
Дата: Четверг, 11.11.2010, 15:58 | Сообщение # 252
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WHY THE SEX SCENES IN BREAKING WOULD BE SO HOT AND REALISTIC!!! SHOOTING “INCIDENTS:” (SEX SCENE: PILLOW-BITING/FEATHER)
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Rob: “So, in order to break the headboard, I have to really pound on Kristen, like really hard, while holding on to it.”
Bill: “NO!!!”
Kristen: “YES!!!”
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Bill: “Cut!” *Looks at Rob* “Rob... You don’t… You don’t… You don’t do that!”
Rob: *Looks innocently at Bill* “Don’t do what, Bill?”
Bill: “You… You don’t go under the sheet, then slide down… I mean… It’s obvious what you’re doing. We can see your head going down THERE!”
Rob: “But this is a love scene... Our honeymoon! We’re having sex the first time! Foreplay is a must!”
Bill: *Sighs* In real life, yes! But again, Rob… This is not your honeymoon. This is not real. We’re shooting a scene. And again… please… let’s stick to the script!”
Rob: *Confused* “This is not real?”
Bill: “NO!”
Rob: *Narrows eyes* “Really? Now tell me this! Why, then, am I sporting a fuckin’ hard on?!?”
Bill: “WHAT?!?” *Eyes grow big* “WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO YOUR MODESTY PATCH?”
Kristen: “I can answer that!”
Bill: *Hands on Hips* “Well?”
Kristen: “It gets in the way!”
Bill: “That's exactly what it’s supposed to do! So where is it!”
Kristen: “It’s gone!”
Bill: *Shakes head* “Then what has been preventing Rob to, um… you know…" *Blushes* "... to 'make contact' these past couple of hours!”
Rob: *Grins widely*
Kristen: *Giggles*
Bill: “OH, MY GOD!!!”
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Bill: "NOW BITE THE PILLOW ROB.... THE PILLOW!!!... NOT KRISTEN!!!! CUT! CUT!"
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
BC: “What? What happened to your pasties, Kristen?”
Rob: *Smirks then mumbles* “They’re in my mouth!”
Bill: "Kristen, I know it's hard, but can you not moan Rob's name, please?"
Rob: "AND WHY NOT?"
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Bill: "Rob, the feathers can't hide what you're trying to do there; so please, let's stick to the script. Hands on the headboard, Rob!"
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Rob: "OK, Bill...Now that we shot how Edward & Bella consummate their marriage; can we, like, shoot how Kristen & I do ours, please?"
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
SM: “Bill, I think the love scene is too hot. We need to tone it down.”
Rob: “OH, HELL NO! We’re not doing any toning down again!!!” *Thinks to self: No more cockblocking, Stephanie!*
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Bill to The Crew: “We’re shooting in the bedroom. Why are you all here?”
Crew: “Rob took the feathers, then, locked us out!”
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Bill: "Kristen. You're supposed to be UNDER Rob. NOT OVER!"
Rob: "That's fine! I like it this way!"
Bill: "UNDER. NOT OVER. NOW!!!"
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Bill: "Rob, let's talk about ur scenes with Tanya!"
Kristen: "Why? The Volturi killed her!"
Bill: "That wasn't her, Kristen."
Kristen: “IT WAS HER!"
He named all the freckles on her body and wrote a poem for each one...
Дата: Пятница, 12.11.2010, 02:33 | Сообщение # 254
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DanaCat, КАТЯ!!! СПАСИБО ЗА КОЛЛАЖИКИ!!! как же я их люблю
the people that are meant to have forever will always be there, no matter what.You have to let people go sometimes, because it's what they need, but still trust that if it's meant to be, it'll be.
Дата: Понедельник, 15.11.2010, 23:04 | Сообщение # 257
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и снова Ate_Ofie WELL, HELLO, RENESEMEE!!! (Extended Version)
Bill: *Points at Rob* "Rob, YOU DON'T JUMP AND SQUEAL WHEN YOU FOUND OUT BELLA WAS PREGNANT!"
Rob: "Can I at least show Kristen how please I am?"
Bill: "No! YOU DON'T SWEEP KRISTEN OFF HER FEET WHILE YOU KISS HER LIKE CRAZY" *Shakes head* "YOU, AS ROB, WILL DO THAT WHEN KRISTEN GETS PREGNANT... BUT NOT EDWARD. EDWARD STANDS HERE... RIGHT HERE... NOT MOVING... LIKE A STATUE!!!"
Rob: "How about if I---"
Bill: "NO! YOU DON'T PICK UP THE PHONE AND CALL YOUR PARENTS SCREAMING THAT KRISTEN'S PREGNANT and THEY'RE GOING TO BE GRANDPARENTS!!!"
Rob: *Stares at fingers* "Oh..."
Kristen: "What if---"
Bill: *Turns to Kristen* "And you young lady... YOU DON'T DO A CELEBRATORY DANCE WHEN IT DAWNED ON BELLA... NOT KRISTEN... BELLA...THAT SHE COULD BE PREGNANT!!!... THEN YOU DON'T SCREAM, Rob! Rob! I'm pregant, Baby!!!"
Kristen & Rob: *Smile, then nod* "OKAY!!!"
Bill: *Stares incredelously at the couple* "Please dont' tell me... Never mind...."
Rob: "Oh, oh... What if---"
Bill: *Puts finger on lips* "Shh...Shh... Rob... NO! We're not staying here for the next six weeks to wait for the REAL THING to happen... Okay?"
Kristen: *Pouts* "Fine!"
Rob: "Can I at least kiss Kristen's tummy?"
Bill: "Noooooo!!!:
Kristen: "Yessssss!!!"
ROB'S "MUSCLE PAIN!"
Bill: “CUT!” *Shrieks* “That was beautiful. Great shot, you, guys!” *Waves hand* “Rob, Kristen, you can get off the water now. It’s time to celebrate!”
Rob: *Clears throat* “I-I CAN’T"
Bill: “Oh, sure you can, Rob! We already got the perfect shot for this scene.”
Kristen: *Smirks* “BILL. HE. REALLY. CAN’T!”
Bill: *Panics* “Are you okay? You have cramps, Rob? Do you need help!”
Rob & Kristen: “NO! NO!”
Rob: “It’s, uh… my… uh… my thigh! Yeah… My thigh! Um…Muscle pain!”
Kristen: *Smile naughtily* “Don’t worry, Bill… I got it! I’m, ah, making it better for him!”
Bill: *Eyes R/K knowingly* “Oh-kayyyy….”
Kristen: “Don’t worry. My baby’s okay!” *Smiles wider and continues to take care of Rob’s “muscle-pain”*
Bill: “Are you sure?”
Rob: *Screams. Eyes shut tightly* “YES! YES!”
Bill: “Okay! No need to yell… Jeez!” *Turns and walks away… then stops… attempts to turn around… but stops again… shakes head… chuckles* “HORNY ASS KIDS!”
He named all the freckles on her body and wrote a poem for each one...
Дата: Понедельник, 15.11.2010, 23:11 | Сообщение # 258
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HARD... FAST... AND IT WAS GOOD!!! Shooting the scene the morning after Edward and Bella made love the first time:
Billy: “And action!!!”
Rob: *Seeing Kristen with the bruises* “HOLY SHIT!!!” *Takes Kristen in his arms* “OH, BABY, I’M SO SORRY!!! I DID THIS? DID I FUCK YOU TOO HARD LAST NIGHT, BABE? TOO HARD? TOO FAST?” *Narrows brows* “But… But I thought… Well, you were screaming for me to do harder and faster… which I did… And we both loved that…”
Billy: “CUT!!!”
Kristen: *Smiles* “Rob… Rob!!! I’m okay, baby.” *Whispers* “What you did to me last night before we went to bed was awesome!”
Billy: *Waves hand* “Oh, what the hell… Carry on… Don’t mind me.” *Mumbles*
Rob: *Grins widely* “Really?!”
Billy: “NO! I was being sarcastic!”
Kristen: “Oh!”
Fifteen Minutes Later…
Billy: “And… ACTION!”
Rob and Kristen started to say their lines…
Billy: “CUT! CUT!”
Rob: “What did we do wrong now? I spoke Edward’s lines for crying out loud.”
Billy: “That you did… and it was great… But, Rob… You don’t have to kiss ever freakin’ fake bruise in Kristen’s body while doing it… You were supposed to be lying still!” *Turns to Kristen* “And Kristen…” *Shakes head* “… You don’t grip Rob’s head and push his head on your breast… down to your tummy… and down your…” *Sighs*
Kristen: *Blushes* “Oops… Sorry… Habit!”
Rob: *Smirks* “Yeah, Billy… My baby loves it when I do that to her and then---”
Billy: *Covers ears* “Eh..eh..eh… Shhh…. Shhh…. I. DON’T. NEED. TO. KNOW!...NOW, LET’S WORK!”
*TWENTY MINUTES LATER*
Billy: “ACTION!”
Kristen: “It was wonderful and perfect! I mean, I don’t know how it was for you, but it was like that for me.”
Rob: “Is that what you’re worried about? That I didn’t enjoy myself?”
Kristen: “I know it’s not the same---”
Rob: “Oh, Baby. I crave for nothing but your touch… your kiss… One look and I’m done! I love you and only you can satisfy this need! You are my forever!”
Kristen: “Oh, sweetie… I feel the same way. I don’t want anyone else. You are it for me, too!”
Billy: “What the hell? CUT!!!”
Rob and Kristen: *Groan*
Billy: *Shakes head* “I’ve never seen anything…” *Sighs… then smiles* “You, two are so fucking perfect for each other!”
Rob and Kristen: *Grins proudly* “WE KNOW!”
He named all the freckles on her body and wrote a poem for each one...
Дата: Понедельник, 15.11.2010, 23:16 | Сообщение # 259
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ROB'S CLOSE RELATIONSHIP WITH MR. HARDY!!! Shooting indoor scenes in Isle Esme
Rob: *Somewhat nervous* “Um, Bill… Can I ask you something?”
Bill: *Stops what he was doing* “Oh, sure, Rob. What is it?”
Rob: *Looks shyly at Bill* “You know how… um… we’re shooting all the honeymoon scenes here in Brazil, right?”
Bill: *Looks suspiciously at Rob* “Yes…”
Rob: “And you know how, like, honeymooners act, right?”
Bill: “Sure.”
Rob: “So in love… So into each other… So…” Bill: “Yeah…Yeah… Go on…”
Rob: “And look at my baby…” *Points at Kristen* “So fucking hot in that outfit…”
Bill: *Glances at Kristen* “She truly is a beautiful girl, Rob. You’re lucky.”
Rob: “I know! She’s wonderful and I love her very much.”
Bill: “We all know that, Rob.” *Chuckles* “And believe me… One look at both of you… Even those who don’t know will know… Immediately!!!”
Rob: *Beams* “She loves me, too, you know… Very much so!”
Bill: “And I couldn’t be happier for both of you, Rob.”
Rob: *Sighs deeply* “And this is where the problem lies…”
Bill: *Concern shows on his face* “You’re okay, right? You’re not fighting or anything, are you?”
Rob: *Perks up!* “OH, NO! NO! We’re great!”
Bill: “So what’s the problem?”
Rob: *Grins timidly* “Oh, uh… Ed---Edward… I mean, I…. Well, these honeymoon scenes are, like, so real to both of us… and…”
Bill: “That’s why every shot we took so far was great! The way you, two, look googley-eyes at each other… The love is there… in every touch… in every glance… in every body language… It’s a dream actually, for a director like me!!!”
Rob: “OH! IN THAT CASE IT’S NOT A PROBLEM, THEN!!!”
Bill: “What do you mean?”
ROB: “So, like I said… it’s but natural for honeymooners for always wanting to make love… they can’t keep their hands off of each other… always kissing… always making out… always ready for…” *Stares at Kristen again* “SO… I GATHER THAT... THAT IT’S, UM, OKAY IF EDWARD… I MEAN, IF I--- YOU KNOW… ME AS ROB AND AS EDWARD...IT'S OKAY IF I WALK AROUND THE HOUSE WITH, UM… WITH A HARD ON! IT’S A NATURAL REACTION, RIGHT? RIGHT? BILL?
Bill: “I WAS TRYING NOT TO NOTICE…OR LISTEN, FOR THAT MATTER, ROB!”
Rob: “HELP ME OUT HERE, BILL COZ IT’S FUCKING HARD!!!”
Bill: *Shakes head, trying not to look at the ‘evidence’* “ROB…I KNOW!!!”
Rob: *Looks away* “Fine… I’ll try to control it!” *Looks at Kristen*
***Kristen bends over to sit on the floor only in her skimpy boyshorts and tanktop***
Rob: *Slouches* “Shiiiiiiiiiittttttt!”
Kristen: *Yells* “Hey, baby!!!” *Waves hand*
Rob: *Groans*
Bill: *Laughs* “Take this advice, Rob: Enjoy while IT’s healthy, alive, and kicking!!!”
Rob: “All the fucking time???!!!”
Bill: “YES!” *Steals another glance at Kristen* “Kristen must be a happy camper!”
Rob: *Smiles proudly* “That, she is, Bill! That she is!”
Bill: *Pats Rob’s back* “Let’s go work, Rob!!!”
Rob: “But… But…”
Bill: *Shakes head, sniggering* “LIKE I SAID… ENJOY IT!”
Rob: “Fuuuuuuuuck!!!!!” *Jumps… kicks… adjusts ‘Mr. Hardy’… and walks funny towards Kristen.”
He named all the freckles on her body and wrote a poem for each one...
Дата: Вторник, 16.11.2010, 02:00 | Сообщение # 260
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Quote (DanaCat)
WELL, HELLO, RENESEMEE!!! (Extended Version)
ПЕРЕВОД бИЛЛ: (показывая на Роба) - Роб, ты не прыгаешь и не кричишь, когда узнаешь, что Бэлла беременна. Роб: Ну могу я хотя бы показать Крис, как я рад этому? Билл: НЕТ, ты не подхватываешь на руки Крис и не целуешь ее как сумасшедший"- (качает головой) - Ты , как Роб, сделаешь это, когда Кристен забеременеет. Но не Эдвард. Эдвард стоит здесь. ПРямо здесь. НЕ двигаясь. Как статуя. Роб: Ну а если я .. Билл: НЕт!!! Ты не хватаешь телефон и не начинаешь звонить родителям с криками, что Кристен беременна, и что они будут бабушками и дедушками! Роб: (глядя на руки) - О. Кристен: А если... Билл: (поворачиваясь к ней) - А вы, юная леди, не начинаете танцевать праздничный танец. не Кристен! Бэлла! Она должна быть беременна! Поэтому ты не кричишь: РОб, Роб, я беременна, малыш! Роб и Крис: (улыбаются, потом кивают) - хорошо Билл: (смторя настороженно на парочку) - только не говорите мне... не важно Роб: О, О, а что, если... Билл: (прижимая палец к губам) - ШШ, РОб, шшш. Нет. Мы не останемся здесь еще на 6 недель, чтобы подождать, когда все случится на самом деле... хорошо? Кристен: (стонет) - Ладно Роб: ну могу я хотя бы поцеловать интимно Крис? Билл: НЕЕЕЕЕЕЕЕТ!!!! Крис: ДААААААА!!!!!
the people that are meant to have forever will always be there, no matter what.You have to let people go sometimes, because it's what they need, but still trust that if it's meant to be, it'll be.
